Really enjoy the Navy/Marine banter, Father was a Marine, Uncle was Navy. I decided I didn’t like mud or sharks so joined the Air Force. Ended up working with both Army Rangers, Navy Seals, and Marine Aviators. It was a privilege to have served with everyone of them.
My oldest son joined the Air Force while I was on my last tour in Germany. While he was in boot camp (remember a drill instructor standing in from of a formation calling a name the holding an envelope so the trainee could come and get it?) I wrote him a letter. I placed it in a business sized envelope then on the back with a wide tip black sharpie wrote "GO ARMY"!🤣
@Michele Sheppard We were doing total body destruction at that time. 20 pushups 20 setups 20 pushups ECT ECT until you flat out couldn't do anymore. The official name was "total muscle failure". Then we would run somewhere between 3 and 5 miles. Even when you were use to it it was brutal! At the time most commander were happy is a company's average PT test score was 210 or so. Our unit turned in a 270 average out of 300. Heck even me, I was a smoker and 33-34 years old running 14 minute 2 miles.
@Richard Kodadek And I laugh at your Air Force jokes from my 5 star hotel overlooking the golf course. Now leave me alone, I'm in crew rest. (actually I'm retired, but I still feel like I need crew rest)
Admiral - Leaps over tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy guidance to God.
Captain - Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a small engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with GOD.
Commander - Leaps short buildings with a running start. Is almost as powerful as a small engine. Is slower than a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special form is provided.
Lieutenant commander - Barely clears little huts. Lose tug of war with small engine . Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
Lieutenant - Crashes into buildings trying to leap over them. Is run over by small engines. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.
Lieutenant Junior Grade - Cannot recognize buildings. Recognizes small engines two or three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if instructed in Mae West. Talks to walls.
Ensign - Falls over doorstep when trying to enter a building. Says"Look at the Choo-choo" when locomotive passes by. Not allowed elastic for his slingshot. Plays in puddles. Mumbles to himself.
Real Chief Petty Officer - Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks Locomotives off tracks. Catches Bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Is GOD.
I was always amazed by the amount of time Chiefs spent trying to beat the waste/neck body fat measurement. Seriously, for the hour you just spent on the weighted neck machine working on that 20 inch neck you could have just actually worked out.
Well, you guys are hard core for sure. But, in the Navy, I had a nice warm rack to sleep in and three egg omelets every morning. We got stiffed on the uniforms though!🤣🇺🇸
During WWII a young soldier was given a pass to go to Paris. On the train in route....
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans! You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.
A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.
As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Army Tanker.
The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are an Army Tanker?"
The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"
The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!"
An officer and an NCO are in the latrine (head for you navy types cause you can't spell them big words). The NCO washes his hands then proceeds to take a leak. The officer takes a leak and washes his hands. As he is drying his hands he says "us officers are taught to wash or hands AFTER we take a leak". The NCO replies "sir, us NCO's are taught not to pee on our hands".
A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman, and a Marine got into an argument about which service was The Best. The arguing became so heated, that they eventually ended up killing each other. Soon thereafter, they found themselves at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. There they met St. Peter and decided that only he was the ultimate source of truth and honesty. They asked him, St Peter, which branch of the American Armed Forces is the best.
St. Peter instantly replies, I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what he thinks the next time I see him.
Some time later the four saw St. Peter again. They reminded him of the question and asked if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling white dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak was a note with glistening gold dust.
St. Peter said to the four men, Your answer from the Boss... Let's see what he says. St. Peter opened the note - trumpets blared, gold dust drifted into the air, harps played crescendos and St. Peter began to read it aloud to the four young men.
MEMORANDUM
TO: SOLDIERS, SEAMEN, MARINES, AND AIRMEN
FROM: GOD
SUBJECT: Which Military Service is the Best.
Gentlemen, all the Branches of the Armed Services are honorable and noble. Each of you serves your country well and with distinction. Being a member of the American Armed Forces represents a special calling warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication. Be proud of that.
Back around 1993 we did a big amphibious assault onto Sardinia as part of a NATO exercise. The Marines were mad as hell since they had to help the Italians defend the island while the Army did the beach assault. We used all of the old WWII landing craft that was in storage in England. And yes they were all US Army property operated by soldiers.
And Yes the Army actually has a bigger fleet than the Navy does. The navy ships are bigger since they have to compensate or other things.
What the Marines will never admit to is that the Army really is the first ones in. The path finders along with SF units go in way before everyone else.
Even the 101st and 82nd go in before the Marines at times. I know we did during the invasion of Panama. and both divisions were the first units sent to Saudi during Desert Shield.
Really enjoy the Navy/Marine banter, Father was a Marine, Uncle was Navy. I decided I didn’t like mud or sharks so joined the Air Force. Ended up working with both Army Rangers, Navy Seals, and Marine Aviators. It was a privilege to have served with everyone of them.
Ok guys... Watch out, a Real Chief is here.
Admiral - Leaps over tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy guidance to God.
Captain - Leaps short buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a small engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with GOD.
Commander - Leaps short buildings with a running start. Is almost as powerful as a small engine. Is slower than a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special form is provided.
Lieutenant commander - Barely clears little huts. Lose tug of war with small engine . Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
Lieutenant - Crashes into buildings trying to leap over them. Is run over by small engines. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.
Lieutenant Junior Grade - Cannot recognize buildings. Recognizes small engines two or three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if instructed in Mae West. Talks to walls.
Ensign - Falls over doorstep when trying to enter a building. Says"Look at the Choo-choo" when locomotive passes by. Not allowed elastic for his slingshot. Plays in puddles. Mumbles to himself.
Real Chief Petty Officer - Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks Locomotives off tracks. Catches Bullets in teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Is GOD.
Well, you guys are hard core for sure. But, in the Navy, I had a nice warm rack to sleep in and three egg omelets every morning. We got stiffed on the uniforms though!🤣🇺🇸
During WWII a young soldier was given a pass to go to Paris. On the train in route....
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The French woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans! You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window.
Q: What's the difference between when a military man talks dirty to a woman versus a woman talking dirty to a military man?
A: When a military man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a military man, it's $3.95 a minute.
What's the difference between the Army & the boy scouts? Boy scouts have adult leadership.
A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.
As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Army Tanker.
The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are an Army Tanker?"
The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?"
The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!"
An officer and an NCO are in the latrine (head for you navy types cause you can't spell them big words). The NCO washes his hands then proceeds to take a leak. The officer takes a leak and washes his hands. As he is drying his hands he says "us officers are taught to wash or hands AFTER we take a leak". The NCO replies "sir, us NCO's are taught not to pee on our hands".
Nice little bedtime story.
The Best
A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman, and a Marine got into an argument about which service was The Best. The arguing became so heated, that they eventually ended up killing each other. Soon thereafter, they found themselves at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. There they met St. Peter and decided that only he was the ultimate source of truth and honesty. They asked him, St Peter, which branch of the American Armed Forces is the best.
St. Peter instantly replies, I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what he thinks the next time I see him.
Some time later the four saw St. Peter again. They reminded him of the question and asked if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling white dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak was a note with glistening gold dust.
St. Peter said to the four men, Your answer from the Boss... Let's see what he says. St. Peter opened the note - trumpets blared, gold dust drifted into the air, harps played crescendos and St. Peter began to read it aloud to the four young men.
MEMORANDUM
TO: SOLDIERS, SEAMEN, MARINES, AND AIRMEN
FROM: GOD
SUBJECT: Which Military Service is the Best.
Gentlemen, all the Branches of the Armed Services are honorable and noble. Each of you serves your country well and with distinction. Being a member of the American Armed Forces represents a special calling warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication. Be proud of that.
Very Respectfully
GOD CPO USN (Ret.)
Hey we gotta have fun and laugh at each other. What is family for if we can't make fun of each other.
Crickets from MGB and Michele tonight. HMMMMMMMM 🤣
Now do we have any chair force vets to pick on? or any coasties?
Did you know that the Marines never put up a nativity at Christmas? Come on, it's the Marines, They can't find 3 wise men nor a virgin!
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 just how did that song go? In the Navy you can get down on your knees...🎼
Back around 1993 we did a big amphibious assault onto Sardinia as part of a NATO exercise. The Marines were mad as hell since they had to help the Italians defend the island while the Army did the beach assault. We used all of the old WWII landing craft that was in storage in England. And yes they were all US Army property operated by soldiers.
And Yes the Army actually has a bigger fleet than the Navy does. The navy ships are bigger since they have to compensate or other things.
Surprised Richard didnt beat yous here
What the Marines will never admit to is that the Army really is the first ones in. The path finders along with SF units go in way before everyone else.
Even the 101st and 82nd go in before the Marines at times. I know we did during the invasion of Panama. and both divisions were the first units sent to Saudi during Desert Shield.
Well someone has to clean up the mess that you crayon eaters make.🤣🤣🤣